Learning Curves by Gemma Townley

Author:Gemma Townley
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9780307415790
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2007-12-17T23:00:00+00:00

17

Jen stared at the body of her father, limp and still, connected to tubes and machines that beeped and flashed protectively around him, and felt inadequate. Her mind was full of ifs, unable to focus on one before another pushed its way into her consciousness. If only she hadn’t spoken to Gavin about Bell Consulting. If only she hadn’t screamed at her father that she hated him and never wanted to see him again when her mother had told her he was leaving. If only she’d found out the truth earlier. If only she’d answered the phone when he’d called. If only she was a better person, a better daughter. If only she wasn’t so utterly selfish that even now she was picturing Daniel in her bed and wishing that she was there with him and that none of this had happened . . .

It was all her fault, she knew that. And yet all she wanted to do was blame someone else. Gavin, mainly, for talking to the newspapers. It had to be him, she reasoned; it had his name all over it, he was the only person she’d told about the letter. Plus he was the biggest opportunist she knew—doubtless this little leak would earn him brownie points with the journalist and get him coverage of his latest escapade. But did he even stop to think about the impact? Did he ever worry just a teensy bit what might happen to her? Of course not. Bastard.

Well, now he could add giving George Bell a heart attack to his list of achievements. No doubt her father had heard the story was going to run, and it sent him over the edge. She wondered whether it was the story itself or the fact that he thought he’d been betrayed by his own daughter that had caused the attack.

No matter. The point was that Gavin was going to get it. He was going to be so sore by the time she’d finished with him that he’d spend the rest of his life apologizing and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Who else, she wondered, now in her stride. Who else could take some of the blame? Well, there was always her mother—she’d been responsible for sowing the seeds of suspicion in the first place, after all. She’d forced Jen into spying on her own flesh and blood. The man who wanted to be a father to her and whom Harriet had lied about all along. Yes, it was all her fault. Well, hers and Gavin’s.

And then there was Daniel. If he hadn’t asked her out, if he hadn’t been there, it might have been different. She’d have picked up the phone, she’d have been there when her father called . . .

Jen felt a little tear trickle down her face and she wiped it away. She was seriously losing the plot here if she was attempting to somehow finger Daniel in the culpability stakes. Him of all people. The loveliest person in the world.

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